I haven’t done an update in a while so here it goes.
I am finding a new normal.
Can I just be straight with you? I used to despise hearing those words because I thought it meant I had to give up living. I had to resign to the fact that my best days were behind me. I thought it meant that I would always have to settle for second best. 🙄
I wonder how many people are struggling with the same feelings and thoughts right now that I was when I lost my health in 2014? I wonder how many people are waiting until the current storm they are in is over, before they start living again?
If that is you, I understand. I have been that woman. I was in so much pain and living under so much pressure every second of every day, for so many years. Not just any years, some of the BEST years I had spent my whole life looking forward to. The years of being a young Mom of 3 amazing little boys. No one could have ever predicted that this Mom of three would become completely physically disabled from 3 rare diseases shortly after her third son was born. No one.
After years of being in severe 24/7 pain, mostly bed bound, and desperately searching for answers, the pieces finally began to come together. Finding those puzzle pieces gave me the heart space to finally grieve what I had lost. That grieving process was a long time coming. On the other side of that grief, Jesus started to help me see possibilities again. He began to put the thought into my heart that it was possible to build a life even better than the one I lost. That He could help me write a new story. My hope to be free from the storm began to shift into having hope for what God could build even IN the midst of storm.
God can make beauty from ANY ashes. He can help us triumph IN the trial. We don’t have to wait to LIVE! The struggles and challenges can shape and remake our lives if we surrender to the One who can make ALL things possible!
I am not living in a fantasy. I still live with these 3 rare illnesses everyday, I know storms and trials are hard. Near impossible at times. Sometimes they even feel like they won’t ever end. I am here to remind you that nothing lasts forever. This hard season you are in will not always look the same as it does right now. God promises that His HOPE will never make us ashamed. That means that when we lean into the love of Christ and the promises of God, we can stand rest assured in hope. Real hope. Hope that doesn’t require any of my circumstances around me to change before I embrace it.
Paul may have been given a thorn, I was given a storm. It’s all the same. His grace is sufficient no matter the challenge. Now please excuse me while I wax up my surf board and keep learning how to ride the waves of this “new normal”. 😎 It’s a wild ride, I would love for you to join me!