Sitting was a BIG milestone that improved between 6-9 months post op!
The date is July 31st, 2019. Today is my 4 year surgiversary. Since this is my first year blogging though, I wanted to go back down memory lane and archive my updates here one post amd year at a time today in order to catch up. As I began searching for my one year post op update, I discovered I do not have a true 1 year post op update. I did find an 11 month update though and here it is from my personal Facebook page, June 9th, 2016.
“3 years ago I was Mom of 2 wonderfully active boys ages 1 and 3, and pregnant with our youngest. That was the Summer my back went from meh to oh boy this is a problem but I assumed it was pregnancy. I got the help I needed to get through it and went on to have beautiful baby boy #3 that Fall. 2 years ago I was Mom of 3 boys, ages 7 months, 2 1/2 years, and 4. That Summer was the year my back, legs and feet began to affect my mobility in a big way. I had to regretfully rsvp no to all the Summer playgroups, and fun things outside of family commitments. That was the year I let go of my backyard and my joy of gardening. 1 year ago was the Summer I was in limbo waiting for the surgery that we all knew would change not only my life but all our lives. I had a painful horizontal reality. I had to lay down every where I went. In the car to and from Dr’s appts, in the waiting rooms, at my parents and at familys houses, even every meal I ate, or while I had visitors. Anytime I was upright i was in agony. And anytime I sat I could not do it for more than a few seconds to a few minutes. After surgery it took months for me to even bend my neck enough to brush my teeth or make a cup of coffee without pain from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Next month it will be 1 year. I cannot believe it. Life is so much brighter!!! Going into this I did not want to believe that this nerve reconstructive surgery from the Tarlov Cysts would be a 2 year full recovery. But now, almost 1 year in I am learning to accept God’s timing and be more comfortable with the pace of things.“
The Joy of the Lord is Our Strength!
“Today, I am having a bit of respite from the past two or three months that have worn me out. As I sit here in our quiet yard I am filled with joy. Over this past year I have had friends, family, and church bring plants to the house. I don’t think they knew how big this was for me but the Lord did. It sparked that joy in me that I hadn’t been able to do for a year and a half, no almost 2 and a half years. First, I started repotting, potting, and growing plants in the house around December as I began to be able to sit for short periods at a time. Then in March/April I got the kids on board with sprouting seeds. Then still working with pots we transfered and fed and tended to them each step of the way. At the end of April I got ambitious and asked Jordan to help me prepare a flower bed. I was now able to sit for even longer periods so I pulled a stool up to the spot in the yard where we would be working. And the bending took some recovering but it got easier as a week’s went on. The flower bed was simple and nothing over the top but that sweet 4 year old and I rocked it out in about two phases over 2 weeks with help from his brothers. We also did some big planters for the patio. Then Dylan built us a beautiful outdoor couch. So, now…I see my healing in a very tangible way and it almost makes me cry every single time I sit out here. Even on the days when the boys are here and one brother kicks another and someone steals a toy and that makes me chuckle in my heart. I truly missed everything about raising my boys for too long. And man was that rough to not be the type A Mom I had been for so long but, I could not have asked for a better outcome. Now they have amazing relationships with my family and Dylan’s. Is it still hard? Absolutely! Do I have hope that the Lord is and will continue to restore everything? Yes! It’s been a crazy ride but I am so grateful for all the good coming out of it. Still more healing to go. Still a couple unresolved health issues that are complicating things. BUT – Lots of hope that we will get through this with the joy of the Lord as our strength! God Bless! Have a wonderful day friends and family!!! And thank you for all your prayers and love for our family!”
So,Why Wasn’t There a 1 Year Update?
The further I got into reading this post, the emotions began to flood in because I began to remember why there wasn’t a 12 month post. Within days of this post my progress came to a hault as I began having new and or worsening symptoms. I started losing my balance and also falling. I also started experiencing changes to my vision including waviness, blurry and or double vision, depth perception issues, and black and white spots in my feild of vision. Also, all the improvements to my dropped foot reversed and the overall pain levels in my body became more unbearable again. I had to take a beak from the driving that I had worked so hard to regain. To this day I have still not regained the progress I made prior to the one year post op decline. The next 2 years that followed were the darkest of my healing journey because no one knew what was going on until closer to 3 years post op.
“I just choose to believe God has a plan and a purpose“
I have still yet to give up or lose hope. That doesn’t mean I am immune from fears that may creep in sometimes. How is it possible to not give up hope? Why is that so important? Not giving up hope doesn’t make me a better Christian or a better person. Hope and God’s Grace are simply how I survive. I have found that the dark times have been the most intimate with Jesus. As I have seeked I have continually found. I am so grateful for the breadcrumb trail of scriptures the Lord has planted in my heart along this journey. It seems He always plants just the right one, unknowingly at just the right time. I am not more special than anyone else, there is nothing diffrent about me that makes me invincible to all the trials that come. I just choose to believe God has a plan and a purpose! It has been an unexpected journey to see where He has been leading me. I thought I knew how my healing would unfold. That is definitely not how it turned out in my case. Thankfully, we don’t have to know all the details in order for God’s perect will to unfold. Thankfully, Jesus leads us beside still waters and calms the storms, each and every step of the way. Not because of who we are but because of whose we are. That is how I never give up hope. I never forget whose I am. I am loved. Please don’t ever forget you are loved too!